Ecommerce Gifts

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

"I bought three new suits in one swat!"

"Sure, paying the bills on-line is faster...but we go through our money faster too!"

"$119? I can get this on the internet for $36!"

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Early on-line shopping

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Supply Chain

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Online Shopping.

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

Gerald Ratner's return

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

Terms and conditions

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."