Ecommerce Gifts

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

"I bought three new suits in one swat!"

Humans rarely use cash anymore. It's all electronic transfers in and out. Computer algorithms target them with ads, telling them what to buy. More and more, computer programs select marriage partners for them. And now we're seeing electronics override human drivers in cars! Only alarmists worry about electronic devices taking over the world and controlling our lives. Sometimes they are just so funny!

"Sure, paying the bills on-line is faster...but we go through our money faster too!"

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"$119? I can get this on the internet for $36!"

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

Internet.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Early on-line shopping

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Supply Chain

Gerald Ratner's return

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

Online Shopping.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."