Eco-friendly Decorators T-Shirts

'It's my feature wall.'

"Better keep the reindeer on the lawn. The roof's been covered with solar panels."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'It's my main decorating motif.'

Crap others threw out

'How are you doing on your side?'

"I hear that bamboo is all the rage this year."

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

We put our child's art on the fridge - Unfortunately, she's a sculptor.

"We both love Chinese food."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'This caught my eye; Johann Sebastian needs new study curtains - and he does like a good pattern.'

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Eden. There's great leaves to wear growing on this vine. Ah, it's the new summer clothing line!

Wallpaper Bouguet

"It's just a lot yellower than we expected."

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

'You're not taking this carbon footprint offsetting seriously - are you Smith?'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

Sale. We need something that will meet our growing backsides.

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

"Oh, nice-pulling up the blinds really lets in the light."