Frugalest Decorator T-Shirts

"I've noticed there's no tree in the cafe. No decorations....nothing."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Face Painting.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Redecorating Easter Island.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Early cave painters

"Love your feng shui!"