Eco-athlete Gifts

Recycling basketballs

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Natural Disasters

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Yearbook

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I love you too, big guy."

Bullseye!

God's Subcontractors

Monica Seles

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'