Ecclesiastically Amused Gifts

Conclave.

The ten ammendments

Finger puppets in church.

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

Jesus and the Peeps

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

Baby Bird

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

"Sorry. I thought it was a typo."

Ding and Dong.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"But why would anyone, especially the meek, want to inherit the earth?"

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

Pope Benedict at Easter

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

Rowan Williams

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

Jesus Fish

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

'Which father is the father?'

"That's just sick."

'If I'm born again, will I have two birthdays a year?'

'I heard they faked their schisms...'

'Good. Now, make a generous offering without expecting anything in return.'

"One order loaves and fishes. Would you like fries with that?"