Eccentric Nature Lover Gifts

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Imagine

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

Entering Megalopolis - next Bucolic area 162 miles.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"Think about it: You're about to create fifty two orphans!"

'It says here that erosion moves soil from one place to another. I thought that was our job.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Who are These People?"

Fall in the Greek Temple

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"He has great communication skills."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

"You there - shoo!"

'To hell with the rules.'

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Man talking to a tree.

"Come at me, Bro!"

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'