Eccentric Interior Enthusiast Pillows

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Waiting Room Quarterly

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

James decided to stay in that night.

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.