Eccentric Interior Enthusiast Gifts

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Fittd shēt

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Waiting Room Quarterly

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

James decided to stay in that night.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'