Interior Enthusiast Gifts

I hear the present owners are splitting up. Four fireplaces and a wine cellar. Better act quick, before they make up.

A sofa for every budget!

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

"Papi, I need a bigger bedroom. The one I have isn't big enough for a the both of us."

The Velcro at Home

Storm Darragh

'Of course I threw it - It's a throw pillow.'

Bed, Bath and Beyond.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Waiting Room Quarterly

James decided to stay in that night.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"Now he expects to come in whenever there's a cold snap."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."