Easy-care Advocate Gifts

"Gracie's been asking for a pet again."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Self-esteem room

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

Breast Height Chart

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Sheep In Curlers

"Not to mention the park view."

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

'Mom's Spa'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

"Hair spray"

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

After his first day, Lester, the new accountant for Acme Solar, Wind & Biomass Energy, Corp., realized he had become a green bean counter.

"I know you're always taking care of everyone else, but you need to take care of yourself, too. Also, I need my stethoscope back."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

In the art gallery