Early Pregnancy Gifts

'Have you been drinking pond water?. . .Because you're four months stagnant.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They grow up so fast."

Cry babies.

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

Today we learned to count to one.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"