Early Parenthood Warriors Gifts

Parents sleeping on big pile of nappies while baby sleeps in bed

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Baby pram as a tank

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

That's my daughter, Alayna

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

Toys in the DVD Player.

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Pinata good bags.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'