Early Christmas Shopper Gifts

Human Cull: People who tell you they finished their Christmas shopping in October.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Black Friday

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Seasonal shopping.

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"I am in training for the sales."

'Do I believe?? Listen, I believe in anything that generates $400 billion in annual sales!'

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

A bit pre festive isn't it?

inflation at Christmas

'I braved the Boxing Day sales just for you, dear.'

'Everything must go...manners included!'

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

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Last-Minute Gifts

Television and Christmas Sales

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

"Maybe they should call it 'in the red' Friday."

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'