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'Busy day?'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

TV-Man

TV jester.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"