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"You're a bit quick with the replay!"

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

The Directors Gut.

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"Are there sharks in the water?"

Griller highlights never gets old

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card.

'Mr. Kong?'