Video Enthusiasts Gifts

"You're a bit quick with the replay!"

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"The cape comes off too."

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

Barry Norman

The Directors Gut.

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"Are there sharks in the water?"

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

'Mr. Kong?'

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card.