Video Clip Enthusiast Gifts

The sheep are much easier to keep track of now. They spend all day watching clips on Ewe Tube!

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Getting to Know You

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Spoiler alert."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

Quentin Tarantino

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

"The cape comes off too."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Barry Norman

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Oscars 2024

The Directors Gut.

Giving an Oscar to an animal actor would put the academy awards into context.