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What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

'Braveheart is one of your ancestors? And why the heck don't you look like Mel Gibson??'

'Here's where the DVD goes.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Say dollface, what brings you to a joint like this?"

Is there a reason I'm going into the red? Reason? Am I being penalized? Have I done something wrong? Maybe it's like A Wonderful Life. Your greed is catching up to you. You're experiencing bad karma. So I need to raise my prices?

Subtitles are often used in film productions

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Getting to Know You

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Steve McQueen

The Pink Bantha

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Canadian film production

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Moby Dick

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."