Duvet Wrangler Pillows

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

Shrimpsea welcomes car-full drivers.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'Did you want me, boss?'

Toastquest!

'One ticket to wherever my luggage is going, please.'

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

Tossing for it.

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

Christo's greatest challenge.

Haircuts

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'