Duvet Wrangler Gifts

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Shrimpsea welcomes car-full drivers.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'One ticket to wherever my luggage is going, please.'

Toastquest!

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Tossing for it.

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

Haircuts

Christo's greatest challenge.

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."