Dusty Work Enthusiast Gifts

Chimney Sweep

'These are job perks.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Rare Books

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'You can earn more money, but you'll need to take a second job.'

The Real American Dream

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

"Forget 110% 24/7: we need 120% 25/8."

"Don't be irreplaceable, because if you can't be replaced...you can't be promoted."

'And now, the Meeting Marching Band.'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

Office Woman

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"I'm really impressed with your work ethic."

"I like my job. It keeps me alive."

'Still duckin' an' divin'?'

"It's face painting Friday."

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'

"We appreciate your eagerness, but stop gnawing the furniture."

'What training do I get?'

"This one is less distracting."

'I try to go to the office once-a-week just to see how I'm doing.'

'You need to take one capsule a day as supplement. .. After you reach a certain income level, your body stops producing this stuff.'

"Couldn't stand working for the man, so I started my own business. Now I just can't stand working."

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

"Everybody seems to be in such a hurry these days!"