Dungeon Crawler Gifts

"Fate is but a roll of the dice, cast by giant nerds."

The archer is better looking, but the fighter has more hit points.

'Dungeon humor.'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'Say something funny,'

'How many experience points do I have? — I'm not that kind of girl!'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

Pet Cemetery.

'This cave is really damp... and squidgy underfoot'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Pirates at the mall.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Wow. A corner office at last

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"Thank god we're out of the city."

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, but then the turbulence gets you!

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

'Call yourself a mountain guide?'

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

Mitch McConnell

"Honey, I quit my job to go shopping everyday!"

Early Goths.

"Do you have any other qualifications apart from reaching level 15 on the 'Deathstar of Doom' game?"

Man hanging by chains in dungeon, arrow in chest with message saying: 'Help is at hand.'

'Down to 43 hit points? ?have you been fighting again?'

'I didn't think you'd like spelunking, but do you listen to me? Heck, no.'

Rarely seen spiders!

Lair Freshner

"Would it be possible for you to take a photo of my meal and post it on social media?"

Gillbies' annual GIANT SALE!

Alien Abduction

'I'm sure it would make a very nice home, but it still gives me the creeps.'

"Lastly, we have Mr. Asher. He fancies long pulls on the rack, impromptu floggings and water boarding at nightfall."

Yeah, next time let's save the rack for last.