Due Date Gifts

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

A little bird told me...

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"But I use all of them!"

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Progress?

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Hourglass Dumptruck

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

Your car called- It's not taking you home until that report's finished.

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

A dog whose nose is a gun.

Please take a number.

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

Young British Artists.

Ancient Weapons

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Panzer Hut.

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"Are you going to have a baby too, Uncle Fred?"

Really big bang

'This was faxed to me by Ricky Ames, who's still on Cap Cod. 'How I extended my summer vacation...''

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."