Project Deadline Gifts

Hourglass Dumptruck

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

God's Subcontractors

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Breakthrough

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

The Status Report For Your 48 Projects Is Due First Thing In The Morning. . . Sleep Tight!!!

'You are a self-starter... problem is, you never finish anything.'

Deadline

D.I.Y

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"Managing a complex project in these fractious times requires imagination, the first thing I’d like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Normally, this project would require weeks of research and verification...but luckily there's an app for it.'

The words 'Well done ' take seconds to say, but will be long remembered and appreciated.

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'