Duck Disciplinarian Gifts

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't even think about it."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"Croak something romantic, will ya?"

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

"Why have you come over here?"

Duckumentary: 'QUACK!'

'He was born to the sea.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

Good duck, bad duck.

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

Revenge of the Mallards.

Discipline at Doggy School

"Worms."

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

'Don't worry Marty! All we have to do is sit still and look stupid for a couple of hours . . . like when we watched 'Pulp Fiction'.'

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

What's on? A duckumentary.

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

'You'll get over it, Carrutheres - sometimes we all feel like we're being nibbled to death by ducks!'

Give a dog a bad name.....

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Joins The Army