Druggist Gifts

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Sorry, sir, but that's what your prescription seems to say.'

'Tragedy struck when Larry, the druggist, mistakenly filled the prescription with RED capsules.'

Now it can be told - contrary to mass expectation the five people you meet in heaven are...

'You may experience irritability and pain in the hands and wrist...and that's just from trying to get the cap off.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'David, I want you tested for steroids.'

La Tour 2007.

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

"I have prescribed something to make you sleep better! Be careful not to take too many! If you do this side effect is headaches!"

Pharmacy. Prescription. Don't worry about that --- After paying for those you can't afford to drive! (Published originally on August 1, 2011.)

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

'Pegasus used steroids. Pass it on.'

'Oh, don't mind Grandpa - he's just having an acid flashback.'

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

"This medication doesn't have any side effects, just up-and-down effects."

'This ain't gonna be easy.'

'He likes to point out the obvious.'

Pill testing

Opium Den 2019

Some other drugs you may enjoy.

Woman feeding pigeons crumbs, man feeding children crack.

Cindy McCain, Drug Czarina

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

Employment Office. You got a job on the early shift at the drugstore? What'll you be doing? Probably waking up the sleeping pills.

"I used to be a successful police drug dog, until I started snorting instead of sniffing."

'I don't care about your stinking study. This time, it better not be the placebo.'

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

'I know! I know! But if I can beat chocolate, you can beat heroin!'