Drug Prevention Gifts

Just say no...

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

"Say NO to drugs."

Distance to avoid contagion

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Men's Health Screenings.

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

AIDS prevention

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'Your father installed a security system.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"It's great to be back. . .!"

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Thank you all for coming to this small enclosed space to discuss a deadly and highly communicable disease."

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

La Tour 2007.

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

'And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?'

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

Now wash your hands.

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

'Oh, don't mind Grandpa - he's just having an acid flashback.'

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

Neighborhood Watch.

Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

"This medication doesn't have any side effects, just up-and-down effects."