Drug Policy Gifts

Cindy McCain, Drug Czarina

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Our Two Parties, Explained

Trump leaving

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Think Tank

Economy

Roe v. Wade

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Flu vaccine.

Sybil Obama

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

Pre-Old Blues

World Hunger Conference.

Health Care Crisis table.

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

Keep the econoimy moving

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'No way! To fund health, education and welfare, we'd be forced to tax oil companies!'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

survival of the fittest