Driveway Defender Gifts

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Touring Cyclist

'Your Grounded!'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

Fighting the Zika Virus

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

Ebola reaches USA.

A fisherman catches fish wearing gas masks near oil runoff.

"Not on my watch..."

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

How was my emergency stop?

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

"Don't even think about it!"

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

'What I really hate is preventive medicine. The go after us before we even do anything.'

"Have you SEEN what an angry slug can do to a delphinium?"

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

Spring House Cleaning: Sweeping Cuts

I'm the Bluebird of Happy Motoring. If you must drink, don't drive!

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Driver sees 'Yield' road sign as tank is on road in which car merges.

'I certainly don't get tailgated anymore!'

The Fighter

'The Swiss find something new to clean.'

'GET OFF MY LAWN!'

'See what I mean? - Look how close that woman driver is driving in front of me!'