Drinking Diplomat T-Shirts

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

EU

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

Landing That Tough Account

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Juncker: He Had a Dream...

'Our foreign policy is making me depressed. So let's just stick to screwing up our domestic policy.'