Death's Diplomat T-Shirts

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

EU

Militant Pacifists

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Juncker: He Had a Dream...

'Our foreign policy is making me depressed. So let's just stick to screwing up our domestic policy.'