Romantic Diplomat T-Shirts

Permission to get to first base denied.

'These are all the coalitions I've formed.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

EU

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

Landing That Tough Account

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

American Eagle and the Dove of Peace

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

Mixed marriage: food fight

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"I sure hope the negotiations go well."

Juncker: He Had a Dream...

His side of the bed, her side of the bed, and the demilitarized zone.

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

'Our foreign policy is making me depressed. So let's just stick to screwing up our domestic policy.'

Putin's Russia

'Three things I don't think we should talk about ... politics, religion, and everything else!'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Frank Hires a Relationship Coach.