Marriage Diplomat T-Shirts

His side of the bed, her side of the bed, and the demilitarized zone.

'You'll have to wait a few minutes. My mom and dad are involved in a power struggle.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

Inclusive speech

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Career Choices

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

HR - Helping Relationships

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"If I can't get a firm decision, I'd accept a wobbly acquiescence."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Incompatible.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."