Mixed Family Diplomat T-Shirts

Kids and Step-Families

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Incompatible.

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'We're having an argument. Do you know any battle marches?'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'Your three o'clock cancelled, we're still awaiting the Parson verdict, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

"The defense rests."

"What's wrong?"

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."