Family Diplomacy Expert T-Shirts

"He's got a very easily done in head."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'Let's arbitrate.'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'We're going to need one or two scapegoats. Are there any volunteers?'

'In my day you had to reach puberty before you could act surly.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"

"That's not a math lesson. That's just some notes to myself."

'Wow, I just told your mother I welcomed her criticism.'

'Sorry, boss, it's not my job.'

"I don’t care if your daughter gave it to you for Father’s Day, Glen – get rid of it."

"Come on dad, there's no need to go all 'Successiony' on me."

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

Shimon Peres

"So, you're the blind date! Listen, if it doesn't work out with my Lisa, just comeback: she has 27 sisters...."