Family Diplomacy Expert Pillows

…Here's the deal…You get your brother and sister to finish their fruit, vegetable and milk, and I'll get you extra dessert… Food Pyramid Scheme.

"He's got a very easily done in head."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'Let's arbitrate.'

'We're going to need one or two scapegoats. Are there any volunteers?'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

You need to stay home and study. Mom! It's an educational opportunity

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'In my day you had to reach puberty before you could act surly.'

"That's not a math lesson. That's just some notes to myself."

'Wow, I just told your mother I welcomed her criticism.'

Shimon Peres

'Sorry, boss, it's not my job.'

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

"Come on dad, there's no need to go all 'Successiony' on me."

"I don’t care if your daughter gave it to you for Father’s Day, Glen – get rid of it."