Family Diplomat Pillows

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'My mom's a Democrat, my dad's a Republican, and I'm a bipartisan effort.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other families.'

'If this family is a democracy, how come I can't run for Father?'

'I just think everyone in the family should have the same rights and privileges.'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

'Mom says it's time for a family powwow.'

'I think Dad likes you but Mum might be a little harder to win over.'

"For heaven's sake, Melissa, she's my mother. I can't tell her to leave."

'Wow, I just told your mother I welcomed her criticism.'

"I really hate how your mother keeps appearing as a hologram."

"I ate those two extra Brussels sprouts mom wanted us to share. You owe me big time!"

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"The last time I asked you to promise you won't get mad, you broke that promise. Before I tell you what I did this time, I want you to sign this legal document stating you can't get mad."

'While I'm finding my key, Jim, you can work out how to placate mummy and daddy.'

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'It's one of those 'Nuisance calls' from my teacher.'

'Listen, no tantrums, we are going to my mother's!'

"He didn't want to make his wife, or his mother-in-law, mad this morning ... "

"My mom got remarried again - I'm tired of all the regime changes."

"I've had it around here...I'm going to live with granddad...I want a signed agreement of I won't be coming back."

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't married a bartender!"

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

"Look...I'm sure it will be a very short visit. When elderly relatives are in town to visit, it's our duty to be respectful hosts. So please...I want you to be polite, use proper language and don't call anyone names."

"No, Sir. Your in-laws don't qualify as pest."

Elections - The Politician's Family.

"I just had a great idea! Instead of having dinner with your mother tonight, let's not have dinner with your mother tonight!"

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

Family talking about home rule

Man attempts to be rid of girl's father so he can be with her

"Yes, I'd like to be placed on the Do Not Call list. Also, happy birthday Mom."

'Though I used my vote to spite you, you'll be glad to know that I plan to use the next to annoy my peers.'

'You can protest all you want. But only until bedtime. And not in front of the television. And no, I am not stepping down.'