Drinking Buddy Pillows

'I talk to myself because I'm the only one who LISTENS!'

Nice guy. It's just that once you get him started, you can't shut him up.

'Get up, you idiot! That's not our Queen, it's only Fat Bob.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'As your financial adviser, I would have to advise against lending Dave a tenner until next tuesday.'

'I talk to myself because I'm the only one who LISTENS!'

'Hey, it's not all bad - At least you've got SELF-pity.'

"Thanks Dude!"

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

We go way back together, from when Happy Hour began!

'Hold it! If it goes without saying, I don't want to hear about it.'

"Yes, it's tidy stuff."

"Of course we get along. You're normal, and I'm normal classic."

Joe's Bar - Two Kegs Any Style $49.95

"How fine is the line between death and a near death experience?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

"Have you been telling everyone I'm an idiot?"

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a heavenly host of angels?"

"That's enough boys. Take it outside or online!"

To counteract the pub bore Al cultivated the ancient art of sleeping with his eyes open.

"Dignity is one thing that alcohol does not preserve."

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"People often say I look like Brad Pitt. . ."

"You haven't seen me. . ."

"I said you'd come to a sticky end someday!"

"Hello mate! Would you like to join me in a pint-?"

"I hear you've been running me down!!"

"The other thing I love about drinking is that you can't do it online."

'My philosophy is to think up a new philosophy whenever I need one.'

"What's the point of having a conspiracy theory if everyone's going to conspire against it?"

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

"I don't get out much—I'm usually locked in a cellar."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"