Drinking Buddy Seeker Pillows

"Some gentlemen at the bar were wondering if you'd like to join them."

Dolphin friendly tuna

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Tequila Mockingbird

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

'Toast'

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Little boys

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Drinking Companions

Unmanned drones.

Joe's Bar - Two Kegs Any Style $49.95

"Do you know what we need? We need drinking songs."

'This is the layout of all the bars we'll hit tonight! We'll start here, then...So we'll sweep around their rear flank, capture their artillery here, then...'

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

'Here comes Ted.'

'3 pints of lager, 2 gin and tonic, 1 vodka and coke and a replacement liver.'

"He spent the last half hour trying to piratesplain sea shanties to me."