Drill Instructors Gifts

A Verbal Difficulty

Military Drill

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

Guess who's going to be a sergeant major when he grows up?

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Lemming Boot Camp"

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Dentist Training School.

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"I'm using a silencer!"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

TV Repair 101.

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

Military ardour.

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

Oil Workers

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

Military Parades

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

Home Economics with an Attitude...