Drill Instructor Gifts

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

A shout of sergeants

Military ardour.

Drill Instruction

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

Military Parades

So you think you can march.

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

Think hard soldier! When I threw the practice grenade, did you hear me say 'fetch'?

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

'Uh, oh. This is hell. That's the drill instructor from my army days.'

'I said.. how long were you a DRILL INSTRUCTOR, SIR?'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"I can't heeear you!"

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Lemming Boot Camp"

Dentist Training School.

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

"I'm using a silencer!"

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

TV Repair 101.

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

Oil Workers

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."