Dress Code Dodger Gifts

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

No Pants No Service?

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"So let's review the casual Fridays protocol one more time, ok?"

"Are you wearing a sports bra?"

"Casual Friday doesn't mean you can come in 3 hours late!"

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

'Well, it seems we've got someone amongst us who needs to learn about the meaning of corporate identity.'

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."