Dress Code Dodger Gifts

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

No Pants No Service?

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

"So let's review the casual Fridays protocol one more time, ok?"

"Are you wearing a sports bra?"

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"Casual Friday doesn't mean you can come in 3 hours late!"

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

'Well, it seems we've got someone amongst us who needs to learn about the meaning of corporate identity.'

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'