Dreamy Dad Pillows

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"Dad, I'm playing the role of the husband in our school play!"

Daddy's Hook

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

New dad.

'Around here your mom is the management. I'm just the middle management.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

Father's Day

"He followed me home! Can I keep him?"

"This one's going down."

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

Timber!

"Dad, I thought I told you not to dress like Justin Bieber when you pick me up from school!"

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

Painting dad's face

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

Dads.

Father's Day

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Daddy is making sense of things."

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

'Happy Birthday, Dad, we got you a safe to keep all your money in - only you and us will know the combination!'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum,'

'You can't expect to win every interest he shares!'