Dramatic Dad Pillows

"Dad, I'm playing the role of the husband in our school play!"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

How witness protection really works...

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

Daddy's Hook

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

A Father Clown marking the growth progress of his son's shoe size.

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

"What do you want to be when your dad grows up?"

'Around here your mom is the management. I'm just the middle management.'

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

Father's Day

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

Baby's first horror movies

Timber!

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

'You can't expect to win every interest he shares!'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum,'