Dream Wedding Gifts

'Let's cut to the chase- how much is it going to cost me to give my daughter away?'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You're the lid to my pot."

A heart shaped cake

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

We'll have Manhattans...

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."