Dramatic Wedding Tales Gifts

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

Building a gingerbread house

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

John Galsworthy

Ventriloquism For Beginners

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

She always said that Harold hogged the covers. Mildred Sims. Harold Sims.

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

'Of course he's never home. Didn't I warn you about marrying a Free-Range chicken?'

'Heath. . . Cliff!!!'

'Well, you sure got your message across to the people THAT time.'

A bride and groom riding a giant fish

"Back in my day, we wore masks, stayed six feet apart, and lived for the moments in between panic attacks."

"I told you the service was very personal!"

"This was Freddy, the neighbor boy. He went to jail for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the safe."

Giant Moth Circling Lighthouse.

Tosca in prison

'On second thought, maybe I'll shop around a little first.'

'OK, you want to sue your parents because they raised you in a healthy, happy and loving environment, thereby ruining your chances for ever appearing on 'Oprah.' Correct so far?'

Somebody called Barb a cow. But, was it Howard, or the evil twin growing out of his back?

"I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything you can say that will cheer me up or make it better!"

Hudibras - 4 - The Masquerade adventure.

"Just saying, Barry....Last chance!"

'Quick, Harriet, throw me Fluffy - You know how cats hate water!'

'Hey -- my hiccups are cured!'