Dramatic Storytelling Gifts

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Heath. . . Cliff!!!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Occu-Pie Mars

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."