Marriage Storyteller Gifts

"I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything you can say that will cheer me up or make it better!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Tristan Und Isolde

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

Catch and release dating.

Frankenstein's Reading Light

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

Tunnel of love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence.

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

"I decided to spend the money and have my legs waxed."

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

We need to keep him a few days, but we can loan you a courtesy husband until he's ready to go home.

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"He's all mine. Life is good."

"This next tune is dedicated to my wife, who is currently away on a cruise. I call it, 'The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea'."