Marriage Storyteller Gifts

"I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything you can say that will cheer me up or make it better!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Tristan Und Isolde

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Catch and release dating.

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

Frankenstein's Reading Light

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

"He's all mine. Life is good."

"You call that worrying?"

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

"I decided to spend the money and have my legs waxed."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."