Drama-free Drama Queen Gifts

'Cracks in the commode have made for wee-wee leaks.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Reginald Bunthorne

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

Noel Coward.

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

WTF?

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Lady Macbeth

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Ye Editor. It’s a little downbeat, Will. How about making it a comedy and changing the name from "Othello" to "The Moor, The Marry-er"?

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Situation Tragedy.

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Doctor Bartolo

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

Berta screams out!

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

Chekov play and scorecard,

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'