Drama Club Audition Gifts

The costumes for "Cats" arrived. Try yours on and we'll have a fitting. Spring musical practice. Can we have a loosening?

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Mu-ther!! Pu-lease! I already have cleaned my room. I vant to be left alone! So when are the drama club auditions? Everyday.

Presenter Auditions.

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Ventriloquist Audition

Casting Director

'If experience is the best teacher, why can't I get a student loan?'

"Take it from the beginning. Act One. 'Gypsy.' 'May We Entertain You?' And this time, Mrs. Ritterhouse, without the Baby June split."

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

The first rule of mime club is: You Do Not Talk About Mime Club!

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

Doom & Gloom

Don Giovanni

Don Giovanni

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

She's a natural.

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Victorian Garden Romance

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."